capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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