She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
