Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
