i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
