do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
sex in a hospital.. check
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
