i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
