I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
