All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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