he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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