I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
