I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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