i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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