Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
