im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
