I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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