And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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