real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
