i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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