Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
