so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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