my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
