Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
