when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
