I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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