Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
