he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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