i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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