We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
