that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
