is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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