WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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