i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
