Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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