You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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