could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This toilet bowl is my home.
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