the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
