Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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