If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
