Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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