you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
