i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
