Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
