its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
being pregnant is like rehab
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
