no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize