Christians are straight up FREAKS
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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