you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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