If that was your dad, he is hot
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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