So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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