I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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