just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
