Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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