Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
