You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
should my penis look like a turkey
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
