So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
