If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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