you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
and she was petting her beer can
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
