its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I bet he comes in French.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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