What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My dick has a subreddit
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
