i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
