I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
