we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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