well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
